Guilty Flowers

What do these lovely blooms

This sporty watch

and the Springfield M1A Standard Loaded Semi Automatic Rifle (CA Approved) MA9826CA, 308 Winchester, 22 in, Black Synthetic Stock, Stainless Steel Finish
have in common......?

Guilt, Mark's spendy guilt.

He's done it again.......completely worn down my resistance with his latest infatuation. He knows it's just a matter of time (and volume of constant droning..)
It's down to a science now, and although I'm on to him.......he still gets what he's after........

A new digital camera...........................check
A second new (better) digital camera...........check
The dream computer("for school, I swear")......check
All the graphics & gaming software.............check
Updated graphics card..........................check
Playstation 3..................................check
Ridiculously sized television..................check
The dream 1911 handgun.........................check
Four more handguns.............................check
A handmade leather holster.....................check
Two more holsters..............................check
A Shotgun......................................check

and now this.............
I'm not keeping track or anything.....I'm just saying that I'm paying attention to a trend here.
I won't disclose the price tag of this baby, but I will say that the sticker prices keep going up........(this little doozy costs more than our first car).

After his non-stop pitch for the last four weeks.......he has finally wore me down to a "whatever" stance. Meaning, I don't totally agree with the idea of it......but I'm done verbally resisting and this is the closest I can manage to a yes......"So pleeeaaase stop talking about it".

Unsure about how to end his 'marathon of convincing', he usually starts to feel a little guilty. (It was too easy...)

"Is there anything you've been really wanting?" he'll ask....

It's not that I never have wants.....I just have more interest in keeping our money............you know, just to keep it.
I was explaining this for the gazillionth time and offered my 10 year old Timex as an illustration. "Why buy a new one, this still works fine, it just needed a new battery". I had just gotten around to buying a new battery and was opening up the back to replace it. RATS........it was all corroded inside.

Later that day, on the dining room table, I found some flowers and the watch.
It was sweet........but I'm guessing it was the guilt.

Failure Can Be Funny

...........but not until after you've finally passed.

Mark said I shouldn't tell anyone about this, that it's kind of embarrassing. But I'll own it........it is what I've been up to all week.

"Actually, this is kind of funny..." Mark offers. "You'll think so in a little while."I don't know that this is the best response when your wife is crying.

After a week full of checklists and errand running, we went buzzing by the DMV on Wednesday so I could renew my license. Shouldn't take long........"Oh, because it's expired I have to take a written test?".......that shouldn't be hard......."I have to take a driving test too?"........that's crazy.......but I've been driving for over 15 years, so why not..........no problemo!

BAM! I failed my written test on Wednesday!

When following behind another vehicle, you use your low beams when within:
A. 500 feet
B. 400 feet
C. 300 feet
D. 200 feet

Do you know this.....? (I was trying to figure out what low beams meant....parking lights?)

If you refuse to take a BAC test, you will lose your license for:
A. two years
B. one year
C. 90 days
D. 30 days

I guess I should have read the book....instead of glancing at it.
It was painfully humbling.

So I study all night. Quizzing Mark all along the way, hoping he will miss some too and then I won't feel so bad. (He got all my questions right, even when I didn't give him multiple choice options.....he just filled in the blank..... in case you wonder why he drives us everywhere......that's why)

My study night payed off and I breezed through the written test on Thursday! (Much easier test this time........"What does a red light mean?")

Now on to my driving test........
BAM! Failed!
Apparently I didn't even complete it, because we had to immediately return to the facility due a "Law violation"......I rolled through a stop sign.......jeez

As I walked away from the building, this is when I started to cry. Seriously? It wasn't supposed to be this hard........ and it definitely wasn't funny.

And Friday.....round two (and several parallel parking attempts later) I PASSED!
YaaaaaaaaY!

I'm waiting for this story to be funny! Maybe in a few weeks.......

Decorating Tobias

Thought we'd give him some bling............ a little edge.

I Said A Bad Word

I said a bad word the other day and Mark completely FREAKED OUT! .......the word was 'vegetarian' and the sentence I used it in was something like....."I think I want to start eating a vegetarian diet".
I might have well said I wanted to shoot hard drugs into myself as well as the children......it didn't go over well.
(A strange rookie mistake, if I know nothing else about Mark, I know being too direct gets me nowhere......he's very comfortable in battle mode.)

What I should have done is kept that little detail (the word) to myself and then just subtly proceeded to make delicious meals all week that happened to contain no meat...........lesson learned.

Like this:
My copy of the Mediterranean Chicken Pizza (I was sneaky and left off the chicken...you'll never miss it)

Pillsbury Pizza crust
Herb & Garlic blend (minced garlic)
2 TBS Olive oil
8 sliced sun dried tomatoes
1/2 cup feta cheese
1 cup mozzarella cheese
2 cups fresh baby spinach

Roll pizza dough onto a lightly greased cookie sheet and spread the combined olive oil and minced garlic blend over the dough. Sprinkle with feta and sun dried tomatoes. Bake for ten minutes, then add the spinach and mozzarella, bake for an additional eight minutes. Super Easy!

If you don't have pizza dough, garlic bread or toast works great too.


It's a crazy tasty snack or meal.

I know cheese is iffy when talking about a vegetarian diet.....but I think cheese should be defined as a food group unto itself. Not dairy.... I have no problem giving up milk, yogurt, ice cream......but cheese? I just couldn't do it!

Creepy In, Creepy Out

Can you guess what this is? Do you even want to? ......In a creative mood, Max and Lillian hunched over the kitchen table and crafted away, producing this beauty.

I was busy with dishes as I listened to their chatter. “No she has to take out her eyes”…..”You need to sew buttons over her eyes!”
“She didn’t want to be dead....” “Yes but the evil mother said to....”

Not a great parenting moment. Let me tell you how badly I dropped the ball.

First, as a side note, Mark is the movie person of our family. Loves movies.....he’s always twitchy on Tuesdays, knowing its new release day and with genuine excitement watches trailer after trailer.....just cause.
I, on the other hand.....not so much. So when the kids want to see a movie, especially go to the theater for a really new one......It’s all Mark, that’s his thing.

Second, I’m sure you’ve heard of Coraline. And as a good parent you’ve probably looked into it, (or would) and read some reviews.......to discover that it’s inappropriate for young children.
I did not.
I didn’t look into it at all, didn’t have any idea what it was about, and in fact vaguely remembered even seeing a preview.....but that was the movie Lillian couldn’t stop talking about....”Coraline, Coraline, Coraline.....I want to see Coraline.”

Soooo, like the worst slacker mom, I had Mark take them........and it was completely inappropriate for young children.
Keeping it real, I totally dropped the good parent ball on that one.

(The only saving grace was that Lillian got tired and stopped paying attention half way through)......Max on the other hand came home a little shaken.

So now.........these are the conversations I overhear, and this is the art that comes after trauma. Hopefully it will be therapeutic.

P.S. Mark says the movie was actually pretty darn good.....if you’re over fourteen.

Daddy Torture

Click, click, cloppity, click! Lillian is constantly trotting around the house in my heels.......the louder the better.
Her recent look, however, is an absolute torture for Mark.

As Lillian says of the shorty short and black leather combo..."It looks sooooo pretty"........Yikes!

Memories In Purple

"I'm so over purple!" I think everyone has heard me say this over and over again.........for the past three years. I've said this and meant it, but faced with the moment of letting go, I'm not sure I'm ready and I'm not sure why.

We've been ho-humming about things to take, things to store, things to sale and things to give away in the next few weeks. Mark thinks it's the perfect time to kiss the purple sofas 'Goodbye', but I'm not sure. Is it because I want to be frugal and not buy a replacement just yet...? Or is it a sentimental attachment.
We bought this set the first year we were married, I liked the funky shape and color. Mark said, "whatever makes you happy." I found out later he never liked it.......but I always loved thinking about how he let me decide completely.

We brought our first little baby home to it, where I spent weeks helplessly holding Max all day, waiting for Mark to come home from work so I could take a shower......it didn't occur to me that I could actually put the baby down.

We went crazy decorating our first little place in Hawaii, so excited to have a space we could make our own.......complete with lavender walls. (P.S. it is much more difficult to find a rug to match a purple sofa than you might think)

And then onto Washington....where I think purple has finally run it's course. (As you've heard me whine for the last three years) It's a little to dark and heavy for Washington state.

So I craigslisted it last night (in an impulsive burst), and BAM, three offers as of 8:00am! I'm paralyzed..........is it really time to say goodbye to purple? Or should I be happy to share the Purple Love!

Eatin' Dirty

Much to Grandpa's horror, I used to feed Max with toothpicks. (It was while I was still young enough for the danger of this to have seriously never occurred to me)
This wasn't about eating fancy or making it fun......it was a necessary solution to Max's unique personality.....He didn't like getting his hands dirty. At 10 months old he didn't want to touch anything wet or slimy, sticky or gooey..... pretty much anything that would leave a tactile residue. Mark thought something must be wrong with the boy. Having a touch of OCD about dirty hands myself, I figured he had inherited this from me and I totally understood. Therefore.......toothpicks.
The motor skills he should have been developing with hand to mouth feeding were still in play. He would stab each little ravioli, cube of cheese, diced apple ...and expertly guide it into his mouth and chomp away.
But this post isn't about Max, this is about how different a little brother can be.




Tobias is about 180 degrees in his eating style. He has absolutely NO PATIENCE for being fed......HE must do it! I can shovel exactly two bites in, when his quick little hand snatches the spoon away. I started feeding him with two spoons, one for distraction and one for input..... but he's on to me...... now he grabs the one with all the food on it.
This wouldn't be a problem if he had some teeth and was onto finger foods, but the little guys behind on the tooth curve, and barely has one and a half for chomping..........so as much as he fights it........ puree's are where it's at.
It's a good thing he doesn't mind gettin' dirty!

What We've Been Doin'

Nothin'.........worse than nothin' actually.....we've been sick, sick, sick.
Whatever the tummy bug of the season is, it has made a cozy home in our house for the last four days....and it's been a doozy.
I think we've turned the recovery corner though, I can finally sit vertically today! Hooray!

It's Good That He's Away

The only good thing about Mark's long duty stretches is the garlic. Lots of gaaaarlic. I love chips and salsa for lunch and dinner....a little salsa with my garlic. You could call this my twenty paces recipe because you really wouldn't want to be within twenty feet of me....but when Mark is away.... I can indulge.
Once upon a time I had a written recipe for this, but now it's down to memory and mood. It goes a little something like this:
In a food processor, chop:
1/2 bunch fresh Cilantro
4 cloves fresh garlic
1/4 cup red onion
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can Rotel tomatoes (Original)
1 Tsp Salt (to taste)
1 TBS Lemon or Lime juice

It's ridiculously addictive and delicious. If you have a solitary
day (or two) give it a whirl.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Doodle Dice and a Testimony

Family Home Evening at the Durben House is often code for game night...... I'm not quite sure how this happened, but in an effort to reign it back towards a spiritual focus I had to get creative and combine the two. The game of choice for my kids is 'Doodle Dice', so I brainstormed for some symbolic parallels.
If you've never played (or heard of) it, it's a blast....and just as fun and challenging for an adult as a six year-old.
You have three rolls of (6)dice to create a picture (unless your lucky and score a Free Rolls card). The object is to accumulate one of each color. The first one that does this, wins. Hoping to teach a lesson on faith and how acting on our faith helps our Testimonies grow.....this is what I came up with. I hope you get it...

One Dice Picture
Faith in some things can be pretty obvious. Answers to questions like “Is there a God, or Heavenly Father? Did Jesus come to Earth and teach all of those things”? “Is there a reason why I’m alive and here on earth”? When we have a foundation of the gospel of Jesus Christ, then our testimony starts off pretty easy……like a one note picture.

Two Dice Picture
The next addition to our testimony could be pretty easy too. If you have had a witness of the spirit or the Holy Ghost, then we know that we are not alone. If you have felt that, then the next act of faith is to listen to the spirit, letting it be our guide, this could seem pretty simple too.

Three Dice Picture
This could be simple, or not. This is when a plan of action could be helpful. A testimony of the scriptures requires some thought and action. We cannot have a testimony of the scriptures unless we read them. Ponder and pray about them… It could be an easy step for some……but for others this requires effort and concentration.

Four Dice Picture
The stronger our testimony grows, the more we have to be careful not to get distracted from the next steps. Applying the gospel to our daily lives requires continued focus. This comes through daily prayer and letting the spirit be our guide. Our own plans can also be a distraction, if we loose sight of the bigger goal, then our plans can lead us off course.

Five Dice Picture
As things become more difficult, we will start to need additional help and support. This can come from extra efforts, like prayer and planning. This can also come from friends, family, and personal revelation. It may be new opportunities that we had not expected. If we have faith we will listen to the spirit and take advantage of chance opportunities that challenge us and help us grow.


Six Dice Picture Sometimes things become so difficult, it is impossible to go it alone. The only chance we have is to have faith in the hand of our Heavenly Father……he will bless our lives with golden opportunities that will allow us the growth and support we need. We have to pay attention and build upon the foundation of what we know is right and trust him to do the rest.

If we build on our foundations, and work to establish our testimonies, we just might win the game.


We found this game (at where else) The Learning Tree.......but if you're interested, I would be happy to loan it out.

My New Baby....

Baby Number One


Baby Number Two


Baby Number Three


and Baby Number Four!

Ooooohhhhh she's nice.....

and again from this angle, sooooo pretty!

and just one more (you know how moms can get)


but Baby Number Three isn't having it.....he doesn't' like to share.

And he screams louder, so for now baby number four will just sit and look pretty.